GLBT Student Leaders: Challenges They/We Face

The last thing I want to do is get up on a soapbox and school anyone on what they “should” consider in their daily lives as practitioners and/or students. I also don’t wish to assume that my readership (likely a small population at this point) is unaware of the dynamics described below. Despite this, I do get the sense that I am privy to some insidious yet often unrecognized patterns of behavior occurring on my, and likely many other, college campuses.

A married lesbian couple approached the GLBT center’s booth the other day at parent orientation. Their presence, sincere smiles, along with vocal support of our services were a respite from the majority of responses received, which routinely come in the form of awkward apathy at best, and at worst blatant disgust. I, along with other seasoned staff and students, routinely prepare the newbies who work the booth for the Center by introducing them to the common and unfortunate scenarios that often unfold when manning a booth that is centered around GLBT-related programs and services.

The first concept we cover is that of the “bubble.” To take away from the hurtful reality of being ostracized, unsupported, and ignored we joke about the bubble being an invisible force field that most people simply will not cross. Parents at parent orientation, and students at student orientation will walk happily down the straight (no pun intended) row of booths for other offices on campus, until they reach ours. It’s at this point that they; A) back away several steps with their heads down; or B) step away and gawk at our program board with a controlled expression of disapproval.

Those that cross the bubble usually do so absent-mindedly to take a piece of candy, or one of the attractive bumper stickers we offer for free. It isn’t unusual for one of these unsuspecting folks to look up, see what table they are at, and walk away as casually as possible. Once people get close enough for some candy we frequently hand them some of our literature with our written mission, and website. Some people immediately and forcefully, as if wronged in some way, hand the material back saying something like, “oh, we won’t be needing this.”

Sometimes individuals are not so casual. For instance, one mother came to our table the other day to take a piece of candy. A student staff politely and enthusiastically asked if she would like to hear about our GLBT student services. She asked what the acronym stood for, and after being told it meant “gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender” she made an unrestrained expression of repulsion, put her hands up as if pushing us away, backed away suddenly and said, “ugh! No thank you, no offense.” …as if there was any other way to feel, but offended, by her response!

Another common and unfortunate occurrence the newbies get prepared for are the distant gawkers. These are the people that will normally not even come close to the bubble, but will stand in the distance pointing, smiling and poking fun. I’ve heard on a few occasions, parents and students daring others in their party to approach our booth as if interacting with us were so unpalatable it could only be desirable as a response to a dare. The “distant gawkers” are close relatives with the “elbow-nudgers,” those that walk by the booth, nudge the person next to them and gesture to our booth as if we are a puppet show there for purposes of amusement.

It’s easy for these micro-aggressions, and even the blatantly insulting behaviors to go unnoticed by those not subjected to it on a regular basis. These situations are DAILY occurrences for students who are out on campus, or who do not conform to gender stereotypes. The students I work with are strong, and they find the humor in the situation, often making light of the barrage of stigmatization they face. While I take part in making light of it as well, I also understand deeply the far reaching negative effects that this kind of dynamic can have on an individual and on a community. I hope you take the effort to be aware of these dynamics, and support those that are subject to them. I can’t tell you how important it is when staff from other booths comes over with words of encouragement, and support. Please reach out to marginalized students; they really do need the extra support!

Can you talk about a time that you noticed micro-aggression, or blatant discrimination? What challenges did you face in dealing with the situation?

Testing 123 and Just a Little Bit About Me

Hi! I'm excited to start this blog. It will certainly be a useful tool for me to reflect on my experiences in student affairs, past, present, and future. More importantly, I hope that others, even if just one person, can gain useful information, insight, or lessons from my own challenges and successes.

 

I must admit, I do feel a bit foolish thinking that other people could benefit from me simply sharing my thoughts, but I try to keep that sentiment to a minimum. I know that in my search for the right profession, and graduate program, it would have been helpful for me to read personal blogs from those already pursuing advancement in the field.

I can't believe it was only a little more than a year ago that I was so confused about what career I wanted to pursue. During the six month span before I had the "ah-ha" moment that led me to pursue student affairs I went from thinking I would be an English teacher, to an ESL teacher, to a counselor, and a Chinese teacher (no I didn't speak Chinese fluently....yet). Needless to say, I felt a little lost and I often joked to friends, though I sincerely felt, that I was going through a "quarter life crisis." It was already a couple of years after I graduated with my bachelors, and I was baffled that I still had no feeling of certainty about what I would be doing in 5 years, let alone for my whole life.

 

So what was my "Ah-ha" moment that proved student affairs was for me? Well, funny enough it happened at UConn over a year ago. I was at the Rainbow Center to network with students, and the director Fleurette King. As individuals interested and engaged in GLBT student services it was an important connection to make. At the time I was working as a program coordinator, which I am still doing until the end of July, but I also was a part time nanny. One of the UConn students (I wish I could remember his name) asked me what I do. After I explained my nanny job to him, he said,

 

"...but what about your work at the Center?" My response was,

"Oh right! I always forget to talk about that when people ask me about my job, because it NEVER feels like a job."

 

He looked at me a little puzzled, and continued to tell me about the HESA program, and that a job serving students was actually a career path. Now I know this is crazy, considering by this point I had already been a program coordinator for a year, but I had NEVER thought this was a profession I could pursue. It's a classic example of missing something right under my nose! Prior to this, I always conceived of College Student Personnel programs, and those like them, to only relate to residential life. This is an area of student affairs that beyond living learning communities is of little interest to me. Though I recognize its importance, it does not draw me as of yet (who knows where the future may lead!). Up until this very point in my life's narrative my work at the GLBT Center was just a really amazing, yet temporary interlude. Well, realizing I could dedicate my life to serving students in a way that allowed me to focus on equity transformed the interlude into the melody. I soon discovered so many people already in my life that were ready to play in my band!

 

All musical metaphors aside, after I chose student affairs as a career path my reliance on colleagues and community members deepened. They gave me support, offered to be receiving ears, wrote me references, and reflected on my strengths, further confirming to me that people in student affairs are by and large simply incredible! Because of this, I feel indebted and compelled to offer recognition to these folks right from the get go. So thank you to Andrew Winters, my supervisor, and the director of the GLBT Center for giving me opportunities to take ownership of so many great programs, and for always taking time to help me process my future plans, and also being supportive of my choices even though one of them, my decision to go to UConn, means me leaving the Center. Also, thank you to Annemarie Vaccaro, a professor in the College Student Personnel program, and someone with research interests that practically mirror my own. She took the initiative to offer advice and become a mentor, and role model. Thank you to Eva Jones, an English and Women's Studies professor, summer staff at the Center, and supportive friend who never hesitates to lend a helping hand and who was a key player in making this year at the Center the best one yet! I also owe gratitude to Amy Olson, director of Hillel, Trip Hutchinson, Director of the Diversity House, Carolyn Souvet, Director of the Women's Center, Melvin Wade, Director of the Multicultural Center, and Bobbi Koppel, Director of Career Services. You each took segments out of your day multiple times to talk with me and each expressed interest in being available should I need help. I also can't forget to thank Katrina Dorsey, Coordinator of Student Life, who just recently advised me on the logistics of a blogging as a young professional. There is one group of people I simply cannot forget, that is the students I work with at the Center. Each of you is so uniquely great, and it means so much to me that you've all invested time and energy into the Center. You are by far, the most important element to the Center! It's impossible to give credit to every person that deserves it, so if you've set aside a moment to give me encouragement, thank you, and I hope I can return the favor sometime soon! I realize that all of my successes are not just my own, and they are, in no small way, attributed to those around me who offer support.

 

So this is my blog, and this post in particular is very personal. Some posts in the future will be like this, but others will be written around a theme. I have already generated a list of topics to cover. My aim is to provide access to useful resources and ideas for other professionals, graduate students in the field, and those possibly considering college personnel as a career path. So far I hope to cover the following topics:

Finding the Right Graduate Program

Networking in Student Affairs

How to Use Virtual Environments to Deepen Your Student Affairs Knowledge

I'm not an expert, in fact quite the opposite. I'm in my late twenties, probably nieve in many ways, and navigating through my nascent professional experience sometimes lead me down dead ends and wrong turns. Despite this, I've found things that work for me, and I also know that I am a member of the up and coming generation of student affairs professionals. Our lives and work 20 years from now will be significantly different from those currently seasoned in the profession. We have, as young minds, much to teach, as well as much to learn.

 

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you found it at least mildly entertaining, and good enough hopefully to stay tuned for the next one!

I'm interested to know, when did you decide to choose student affairs as a profession? What role did colleagues play? If you haven't chosen yet, what's holding you back? Post your comments on my blog, and let's get a discussion going!